Finally, after maybe 2 years, our house was rebuilt. I was excited to have furniture again and just started to go back to normal again.
Soon, I found out though my father had a girlfriend. This was a bit upsetting to hear that he was already dating someone new when he wasn’t even divorced yet. I get it, though, now looking back that his relationship with my mother destroyed his happiness and our entire family, so he needed to start over.
At this point, we still didn’t bring up the topic of my mother. I guess we were all just too angry to even worry about her. Then, all of a sudden, one day, my mother walks through the front door as if she was just going to move back in. My father’s girlfriend at the time was angry with this. I think all of my family was in shock to see her again.
Obviously, my father ended up filing for divorce, and at that time, I just hoped I would not have to see her again.
It was an adjustment, though, getting used to my father’s girlfriend. Looking back, I don’t think she ever liked me very much. She did have a daughter, and soon I found out she thought my mother would get us back full custody, and my father would only see his kids on weekends. Clearly, she just wanted her happy family of her, her daughter, and my father. I was livid she even thought living with my mother full time was an option.
I was just grateful at this point that my father’s girlfriend wasn’t living with us, but that sadly eventually changed.
Over time, I did grow closer to her daughter, which was nice, but I did hope my father’s relationship with his girlfriend would end. That wasn’t the case, though.
My father seemed to spend more time with his girlfriend and her daughter than he seemed to care to spend time with his own children. I wasn’t sure why he turned on his relationship with his own children, but now I’m aware that decision was influenced by his girlfriend.
As great as it was to finally move home, losing my father to a woman I barely knew was not easy to cope with. Eventually, his relationship got much more serious with her, though. I was just hurt, not knowing why my father would choose her and her daughter over his own children. That was who he became, though. That was the start of him being emotionally unavailable to his own children. I should have known that was the point in my life. I would begin to stop being loved by my father completely, and it really started to hurt.
The Outspoken Advocate 