I dreaded this day but had no choice but to see my mother. So we met her at a local pizza place for dinner. When we got there, she was with a guy who just came off like a creep. She said this was her boyfriend that she met him in rehab. I just knew this guy was not going to benefit my mother’s mental health.
My siblings and I sat down at the booth, and my mother’s boyfriend went up to the bar. I hoped he was just getting sodas, but of course, he came back to the table with 2 beers, one for him and one for my mother. I knew this was not going to be a good night, and I was getting angrier as the night went on.
Those 2 beers turned into many beers, and my mother and her sketchy boyfriend were wasted. I finally went up to the bar and told the bartender to stop serving them, and they were both alcoholics. He laughed and said not his problem and he serves what people want.
Sadly, I knew when my father heard of this, he wouldn’t even be fazed, and we would still have to see her on weekends. To that, I thought no one actually cared about my siblings and myself, and all my father cared about what his fiance and her daughter.
I would love to say my mother became more responsible with her parenting after our first mandatory visit, but her behavior only worsened. I knew she’d never leave this guy she was dating, so I just needed to tough it out as usual and continue to be endangered by her poor choices in life and I quickly realized no one actually cared about how myself or my siblings felt.
At this point, I simply gave up on my hope that anyone would even care about my needs and feelings. So I then started to just numb my emotions and accept that this will always be my life. Suffering was now my new normal.
The Outspoken Advocate 